Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Believing the Best

I visited a church a few years ago and the pastor asked this question…

“Are you expecting the worst or believing the best about your husband?”


I confess, at the time I most definitely expected the worst from my husband. He’d say, “I’ll be home at 6” and I knew it’d be later. He’d say, “I’ll call you back in a few minutes” and I knew he’d get caught up. He’d say “I’ll get off of the computer soon” and I knew an hour would pass.

Bitterness and resentment became my best friends and love took a cold back seat.

There’s a massive contrast when you view things in the flesh and then catch a glimpse of them through God’s eyes.

God used that sermon and that question to make me painfully aware of the error in my thinking. And I became far less interested in what my husband did wrong. I had gotten into the bad habit of expecting my husband to let me down and in return I offered no grace, no understanding… and no love.

The greatest commandment is to Love. It’s not always easy, true. However, God is in the habit of giving us just the help we need.

And in the Amplified version of 1 Corinthians 13:7 sits that very help that allows us to love no matter what…

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, 
is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are 
fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures 
everything [without weakening].”

That says that Love believes the best about every person… not just our spouses, but our friends and even strangers.

So, if we apply these God-given truths to our relationships then we are freed up to simply love.

Believing the best about people is a choice. It doesn’t depend on circumstances… how a person behaves, what they say or don’t say… it just believes… it just loves.

Before I expected the worst from my husband and from most people and it was also, always about me. How upset I was. How wronged I felt. How my expectations weren’t met. And because of that I spent much time in mental torment.

Now, I am in the habit of believing the best and not only do I have internal peace, but I give out grace with ease and I love better than ever before.

What about you? Are you believing the best?



  1. Don't you just love how God will allow someone sermon to speak directly to us? And I am happy to hear that it made you look at yours. It is so easy to look at our spouse this way, I know for me before we got married he would do the phone thing say I call you right back and I am thinking okay so it should only be a few minutes but for him it can be an hour or so. And that use to bother me to all the time and I knew if this is the man I was going to marry then I have two choice to either adjust to it or talk to him. So we talked and come to find out he's timing is different then mine when he says I call you back in a few minutes that means later on..sounds like what God tells us it's in His timing not ours doesn't it? So that was something I had to get use to and now that we are married it doesn't bother me now because we worked this out before we got married well not really worked it out I was the one that had to get an understanding that if he didn't call me right back it was okay.

    Thanks for sharing your story with Heidi and may you have a great day today and I pray as God works on you and your hubby and then work on you both as you both minister to one another in every area of your marriage.

  2. Powerful and convicting reminder in this post...I needed to read this today...

  3. Ouch.

    From experience, I just always believe the worst. He says he'll do this or that, but experience tells me to not believe it. That is wrong. Thank you for this powerful message!!!

  4. This is SO good! Your husband sounds a lot like mine and I've had to adjust to his work ethic over the year. Men are definitely wired differently! I'm so glad you pointed out these truths, especially this one: "There’s a massive contrast when you view things in the flesh and then catch a glimpse of them through God’s eyes."
    Awesome! Have a wonderful day, my friend :)

  5. Wonderful post Heidi. Your insight here absolutely works on both sides of the relationship, and it's something I'll be paying more attention to now.

    Thank you for the powerful reminder!

    Have a Blessed Day!

  6. I LOVE the amplified version of 1 Cor. 13:7. We should look for and expect the best in everyone, especially our husbands. I need to believe the best about myself too. Great post!

  7. Great words today! Believing the best is hard, but what we should do as Christians.

  8. Oops! Busted! Have had to pray repeatedly over 33 years that I would have a gentle, calm spirit when my hubby talked about when he'd arrive. But God is willing, able, and faithful and we get to celebrate 33 years this Friday.
    Gave you girls a shout out today, cuz now I'm a Ya Ya! blessings, k