Not so much my mistakes from before I believed... I'm not proud of those things, but they don't consume me. Honestly, at the knowledge of His saving grace I readily drop my past at the foot of the cross and move on with Jesus and never go back.
It's the mis-steps and insufficiencies since becoming a Christian that trip me up. The thoughts of who I'm not and what things I have not yet overcome that distort my vision of me. It's the lingering sin... the issues that come and go and come yet again... these take me down.
I catch a glimpse in the mirror and wonder just what God will have to do with me... as if I might still shamefully wear the label "lost cause."
Satan loves this about me. I faithfully provide him a sea of opportunities to pollute my mind... to rock my security... to rob me of my worth and my joy.
I forget all to easily that I am new. I'm not talking about the new me from salvation. Beyond that, how I am being made new.... in active renewal status... sanctification... now and up until He comes for me.
When I stumble down this troubled, loathsome road I need only shift my eyes from me and onto Him to see the light again. He shines promise upon me...
"For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified." Hebrews 10:14 KJV
That's me that verse is talking about and you... His offering has perfected us FOREVER as we move ahead in the unfolding of sanctification.
And I suddenly wonder, what's the rush? This need for perfection here in this place. Because I know it won't come here and if I just cling to this path that I muddle along, slow as it seems, then I remain fixed in His plan... right where He wants me.
I'm reminded of this song by Jason Gray, I know you've all heard it...
I love the last lines that say...
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the giver of life
Righteous and Holy
Reborn and Remade
Accepted and Worthy
This is our new name
This is who we are now...
I often awake to those words echoing about in the deep of my mind... they serenade hope and promise to my wondering heart. And that's what it's all about... remembering who I am in Him. Forgetting what I'm not to the World and refusing to give my flesh the lead. Then in the great exchange of my weakness for His strength I have super-natural power to handle Satan's attacks. I can check the sand for footprints and follow Paul... "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead... heavenward" where I am not only made new... but my perfection is complete.