Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tough Decision, Easy Answer by Kelli Zaniel

“God is calling me to adopt a child,” my husband proclaims. After practically choking on a bite of cheeseburger meatloaf, I compose myself. “Ahem.” I clear my throat. My stomach begins to churn. Did a case of the crazies kidnap my husband?

“Adopt?” I ask. “Are you insane?” my voice crackles. “We have three small children of our own and I can barely handle them!”

Eye contact is lost and the conversation disconnects. With a simple nod, a broken smile, and a heavy sigh he leaves the room. We never speak of this again until one year later.

One afternoon while sitting at my computer, God shakes things up a bit. The Creator of the Universe neutralizes my fear and grips my heart. My mind floods with an overwhelming urgency to adopt.

I make a deal with my husband and with Jesus. I will commit to praying about adoption for one week, just to make sure I heard God right.

I read my Bible. I think. I pray. I listen. I repeat.

He speaks.

In the midst of an ordinary, un-showered, stay-at-home-mom day, God reveals himself and His plan. He embraces me through the power of His Word. Every message, for one week straight, references orphans in some way.

Even though I’m unsure of my steps, I place one foot in front of the other following His lead.

God answers my prayer in different ways—all of which plant seeds into the fertile soil of my heart. There, the message of adoption takes root and is firmly planted. God-size dreams are realized.

I am called. I am accountable. I am rolling up my sleeves. I’m ready to crawl through the trenches of adoption. Only, God puts a new spin on things. He anchors deep within my heart the desire to adopt a special needs child—a child not even an adoptive parent would want…“the least of these.”

These God-inspired moments are not about reflection but response--an immediate response to “pure and genuine religion.”

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you,” (James 1:27, NLT).

God presses gently but firmly against my heart. Don’t just listen to my Word, but do what it says (see James 1:22).

My wishy-washy attitude becomes decisive. I choose a cross instead of convenience; uncertainty instead of certainty; unfamiliar instead of familiar; faith instead of fear.

Following Jesus isn’t picking and choosing which commandments make us more comfortable. Following Jesus comes with a cost; but not following Jesus comes with an even bigger cost.

My family’s adoption adventure is just beginning. We have yet to be matched with a child, but I know God has someone special in mind. Pursuing the will of God is worth more than any dream I could imagine for my family.

This is a hard decision in my strength but an easy one in His.

For more encouragement visit: www.faithbarista.com
Thank you Bonnie for allowing me to jam with y'all today
!
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8 comments:

  1. What a beautiful picture of faith and obedience.

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  2. Faith = "Even though I’m unsure of my steps, I place one foot in front of the other following His lead." Well said my friend!

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  3. Wow! This is a very big decision. I like what you decided early on: "I will commit to praying." May God bless you as you go through the adoption process and face many decisions to come as a result of it. His grace will be with you. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. praying for you in the little prayers, and baby steps, and HUGE answers He will provide. i know your home will be blessed...thanks for sharing!

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  5. THAT takes courage. Special needs children are great. I would have felt shocked, too, had my husband approached me about children. In our case, we prayed about other options for two years and we believe God called us to stay childless.

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  6. "I choose a cross instead of convenience; uncertainty instead of certainty; unfamiliar instead of familiar; faith instead of fear."

    This. This is lovely! Congratulations on your decision and I'm praying (right now!) for God's guidance as your family walks forward in this!

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  7. Oh my goodness! Kelli...
    "Following Jesus comes with a cost; but not following Jesus comes with an even bigger cost. "

    Your words caught my heart as I pictured your heart pouring open for this BIG DECISION... one you beautifully chose as a response. God is real. May He continue to give you more of His words every day on this journey. I'm so excited you're sharing this big news here with us in the jam. Such an honor, dear beautiful one!

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  8. "In the midst of an ordinary . . . day God reveals himself." I find comfort in that. He doesn't wait for a special holiday or a major catastrophe---he shows us in the midst of the ordinary. Thanks for that reminder. Thanks for sharing how God neutralized fear and replaced it with courageous determination.

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