Dealing With Unmet Expectations

Who are you holding responsible right now to meet your expectations?

Your husband?

Your kids?

Your friends?

Your boss?

Your parents?

Imagine for a moment the freedom you would feel in those relationships if the pressure for them to meet your needs was released.

Feels good, doesn't it?

That's the way it should be you know. I know it's not. It's true in my life too, but if we are indeed looking to follow God's Word than this is an area that needs correction. It's urgent too, because our relationships, our marriages especially are taking daily power blows because of this crushing burden that we wrongly place on others.

Psalm 62:5 in the New Living Translation says…

“Let all that I am wait quietly

before God, for my hope is in Him.”

Webster’s defines the word hope: to desire with expectation of obtainment, to expect with confidence, to trust.

The King James Version of Psalm 62:5 says…

“My soul, wait thou only upon God;

for my expectation [is] from him.”

Hope and expectation are used interchangeably in the two versions, they mean the same thing. To put your hope in God means that you place your expectations in Him too.

As Christians we must never forget that it is and forever will be God who fulfills all of our hopes and expectations. The people in our lives are only the vessel by which He chooses to use to perform the act of fulfilling all that we need and desire.

Dangerous things can happen when we rely on people to meet our needs. We will more than likely find ourselves drowning in a sea of disappointment. Over time that disappointment will spill over into our hearts and a bitter root will spring to life and resentment rolls right in after it.

Bitter roots are destructive to any relationship, but particularly a marriage, often times bringing it to a slow and painful death from the inside out.

By placing our hope and expectations in the people we love we literally risk the health and life of our relationships. It’s careless and often costly.

If we rightly place our hopes and expectations in the hands of our creator there is no one left to blame when they are left unmet. By doing this we hold no person responsible for fulfilling our needs, we bypass anger, bitterness, resentment and our relationships are protected. That is good news! This is a great battle plan against the flesh and the devil.

The only way we can truly place our hopes and expectations in Gods hands is by taking all of our requests to Him (Phil.4:6).

He’s not only waiting, but wanting to hear our every concern, our every desire our deepest needs. We can trust Him with our hopes and we can expect His very best plans for us.

So, how should we receive our unmet expectations?

As an answer from God. It may come as a resounding “No”, but it may also simply mean “Wait.”

And because we know His ways are not our ways and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) we can accept His answer and feel “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” (Phil. 4:7) The assurance of answered prayer brings about precious longed-for peace.

Father, you are the awesome fulfiller of all that we need and desire. It is so easy to get off track by expecting others in this world to meet our needs. Forgive me for allowing any bitterness to take root in my own heart, for risking the very relationships that you have handed to me as a gift. Help me to wait quietly and only upon you, my hope is in you and only you. Faithful God continue to allow me to veer off path so that you can keep rescuing me and revealing to me your precious and Holy Truth.

Dusted off, completely revised, revamped and reposted in response to Marriage Mondays at...