Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Confessions of a Diet Addict

As a young teen I am thin and blissfully unaware of my weight. Far from confident mind you, but the imperfection of my size is still left undiscovered.

Just shy of my 20’s a trusted someone tells me that I better keep an eye on my thighs. And so I did. I found them staring painfully back at me in the mirror. Screaming: You’re fat! And, I believe it. 

From there I compare myself. A desperate search goes out for any sign that I am acceptable "as is." A girl without God looks to magazines, TV, billboards, anywhere to find her visual value and I came up short every time.

And that’s how I became her: The Diet Addict

You name it I’ve probably tried it. There are more, but here's a good list...

The dreaded Cabbage Soup diet
The Hollywood diet
3-day diet
10-day diet
Weight Watchers
Prescription drugs: Pondimin/Fastin/Phentermine (my favorites!)

And they are all at my finger-tips and all work… for awhile.

I’m the one who is 20-25 pounds over-weight, diets for 6 weeks, loses it, then turns around and gains it right back. It’s a vicious cycle of insanity. I have 3 sizes of clothing in my closet. The only thing that changes is the diet. Never me.

I love food too much to not eat it or to throw it back up. Thus, I am pitifully crowned THE Yo-Yo Diet Queen.

And, it so makes me weary. Seriously, I don’t want to do it anymore. Just last year I felt God sweetly whisper into my heart a single question: “Why do you do this?” along with a follow-up comment: “Because it’s not for Me.” The words of Isaiah 43:18-19 invade my mind...

“Forget the former things; 

   do not dwell on the past. 

See, I am doing a new thing! 

   Now it springs up; 
do you not perceive it?" 

And, just as Jesus does, I notice something new stirring inside of me. A deep desire supernaturally develops to abandon the 20-year eating and dieting habits that imprison me. 

Just like I mentioned in yesterday’s post I must “unlearn what I have learned” and allow God to guide me down a healthier path. As a result my reasons for losing weight have changed…

A healthy me is more effective for the work of the Kingdom.

A healthy me is a good example to her children.

A healthy me is happier in the area of intimacy with her husband.

And, a healthy me brings glory to His name for rescuing me once again from myself.

Praise Jesus because for the first time I am using scripture instead prescriptions to curb my hunger. I’m running to Him for my comfort and leaving the food in the fridge. 

Getting healthy doesn’t come without a plan, so along with a lot of you I am reading Made to Crave and another book called Thin Within. I follow Weight Watchers because it’s not about a diet, it’s about making good choices and portion control and I need help with that.

As an adult, just shy of 40 I’m learning to listen to my stomach when it’s hungry… not my heart and especially not my head because they deceive me so. I'm seeing myself through the eyes of my Creator, not in front of a mirror, but in His word and in His presence. I am satisfied like never before and it feels good.

So, in celebration of the New Thing that He is doing I am participating in Tasty Tuesday for the first time! I I love to cook and since I am on a new journey in cooking I thought I’d share a couple of healthy recipes that we enjoy.

An amazingly, wonderful Weight Watchers friendly recipe site is www.skinnytaste.com she takes real recipes, lightens them up and gives you the point values by portion! I’ve tried many of her things and I’m not kidding you… they ALL taste just as terrific as her pictures look. Here are two of my favs…

Happy, healthy eating!



  1. I've never excercised but always hoped I'd be one of the "skinny" girls. I recently started excercising and eating healthy and I'm realizing maybe I'm not exactly doing it for God but for myself because after 2 weeks I've almost become obsessed with the mirror and scale and the excercise and healthy eating. I think I need to back up and seek God for this, I don't want to be obsessed or addicted to this stuff I want God. Thanks for this post and the recipies look great!

  2. Great post! This is my favorite post from you. So honestly vulnerable. Changing the way you think can only come from God... What a way to honor him! Serving the kingdom of God- not the kingdom of you! Love u! I like tasty Tuesday!

  3. Heidi, this is a great post! Thanks for being so open with us. I'm like Mandy - I've gone from craving food to craving for the scale and mirror to tell me I'm ok. I want to find my sense of self-worth in God alone. Your recipes look yummy, but my family doesn't like seafood. :( lol Many blessings!

  4. I'm a firm believer that diets don't work. In 2009, I chose to make a lifestyle change to create in me a happier and healthier person by braving the journey to my ideal weight and learning by trial and error how to deal with the small gains that do come, but celebrate the losses that come with perseverence and relearning how to eat. I won't keep a food diary or journal my calories for the day. I lift wieghts, do yoga, and cardio. I walk three to four miles once or twice a week, and hike as often as possible. I still get my chocolate (just not the whole bag), and I've learned how to say no to foods that I can't eat because no matter what time of the day I eat those foods I gain. For the rest of my life I will eat better and work out five to six days a week for 30 minutes to an hour.

    I call it the "Nikki Non-Diet." And I've lost and kept off 35 lbs.

    You can do it! Just don't diet. You are beautiful in God's eyes. He wants you to be healthy and happy, not comparing yourself to models who only eat granola and yogurt all day.

  5. Oh, sending virtual hugs to you today, my friend. Thank you for opening up about this - a sensitive topic I'm sure many of us think about then quickly tuck away for another time. I love this: "Praise Jesus because for the first time I am using scripture instead prescriptions to curb my hunger. I’m running to Him for my comfort and leaving the food in the fridge."
    But that's Jesus - look where you were in the beginning stages of your struggle, and look at where He's brought you. Thank God for that kind of growth. God Bless you :)

  6. I love you. You are so real, so "us" my favorite part..your not doing it for me,,, punch to the ol heart! I'm here for support, I love recipes and love to bake/cook and have great recipes..we should do a recipe exchange on here,, just an idea. I like Nikki lost 35-40 lbs three years ago and have kept it off..it is discipline and a habit now to work out 6 days a week... my secret...the treadmill is my ALONE time..I read,, I pray,, I am the treadmill Monk!! We should get together for some prayerwalking....keep up the work! Oh another idea a friend of mine use to meet girls at her church in the mornings for aerobics? I have TON's of DVD's???? Keep going..God will give you the strength you need..

  7. Thank you for posting this! I have just started a clean diet and am hoping to rid myself of my addictions to unhealthy foods. We can do it! Just one day at a time :)

  8. Great post Heidi! I have come to realize that I am beautiful to God just the way I am. Yet I need to be healthier to do His work. I am also learning to crave God not food (or pepsi).

  9. Heidi another wonderful post...it's funny my best friend and I were sitting last night talking about the same thing...we asked ourselves, when we are at the feet of Jesus do you think he is seeing that extra 10lbs, the size bigger jeans...NO he is seeing our beauty, his beauty he created. I started a bible study on the book of Ester and went over this again today...then your post...I think God is telling me, LET IT GO!!! I love you for you not your waist size..

    You are a blessing Heidi, and I thank God for you and your post to reach me..

    Many Blessings, Sherry

  10. Heidi, I'm so incredibly thankful that you found my blog and commented, which in turn led to me finding your blog =) Oh, how I identify with you!!!!!!!
    One of the greatest helps I EVER had during "dieting" is Philippians 4:13... I plastered it everywhere; on my mirror, in the bathroom, on the fridge, in my car... It really helps to know its not with MY strength, but with HIS!!!
    Thank you so much for bringing this thought back to my mind... Seriously, I am so very thankful...I can't even express to you right now how thankful I am to have come across your blog right now at this very moment... All things happen for a reason.... Thank you!

  11. WOW Heidi! I think we can ALL relate to this one. I totally agree that if we get our motivations right, we will be victorious. What a witness! Thank you so much for sharing. I really like the Tasty Tuesday idea. I've already got two recipes from the website!!!
    Love You

  12. I too have battled the yo-yo dieting for YEARS. I was overweight as a child and haven't really been as an adult until after I had my boys. Now this 10-15 pounds just hangs on. It shouldn't bother me, but it's my choices that bother me. I want to feed my body 'good' for me stuff and I'm the queen of excuses as to why I don't. I'll check out the website. Sounds really great :-)

  13. Great post! I love finding yummy healthy recipes.

    <3, New Follower

  14. Thank you for the wonderful and heartfelt transparency in this post Heidi. I have no doubt with the conviction you're approaching this and His Strength as your coach, you'll reach your goals!

    And thank you for the recipes! I absolutely love to cook, and healthier eating is always a Blessing!

    Have a Blessed Day Dear Lady!

  15. Excellent thoughts, approaching food with such a spiritual perspective.

    And the recipes look great! Looked for the shrimp and rice one but didn't find it.

  16. I too believe God is interested in our health and how we treat our bodies. I never had a weight issue until a few years ago I put on a few extra kilo's and really panicked. I prayed about how to get rid of it, and sought God over a period of a year or so and found myself not going on a 'diet' but changing my lifestyle in terms of food and excersise. Alot of calories in juices and snacks totalled a third of my daily intake so changed to water and fruit and dropped 3 kg so quick... I joined a dance class 1-2 times a week for over a year as well. I have come to a good weight and still occasionally have a treat, but I love healthy food. I used to feel a bit silly praying about my body and asking for help but I know God so cares for us in this way... I've changed alot of small things in the past 2 years.. and now have become lifetime changes. Good food, moderate excersise and not over eating. So simple and really worked.

  17. Cute Blog! I’m a new follower Happy Friday!! I would love for you to stop and take a look at my blog as well! Thanks!