Monday, December 27, 2010

Believing him Because of HIM

Its date night, a rare but highly coveted occasion at my house and I’m on my second set of clothing. Turning in the mirror I ask my husband that question we all ask…

“Does this make me look fat?” He gives the only answer that ensures the course of the evening ahead… “No, you look great!” He puts his arms around me, smiles, gazing at my reflection and says…
“You are beautiful!”

And I do what I always do, push out from his loving arms, sneer a little and roll my eyes (probably not so pretty) because I do not think I’m beautiful and he must be crazy to think I am or worse he’s just not being honest.

Then a few seconds later I notice a serious look on his face and I ask him, “What’s wrong?” He takes a deep breath and says, “It hurts my feelings when I tell you that you are beautiful and you don’t believe me.” He adds, “I love you and I do think you’re beautiful, even when you’re not at your best I think you’re beautiful. And, I’m concerned because our girls are always listening and watching to see how you respond and they will learn to respond to compliments in the same negative way that you do. I don’t want them to look in the mirror and worry that they look fat or that they aren’t pretty and I want them to believe me when I tell them they are beautiful, but if you don’t then they won’t either.”


In that moment I realized that my sweet husband sees me very much in the same way that God does.

It doesn’t matter if I just woke up or if I’m all made up, He thinks I’m beautiful.

It doesn’t matter if I’m overweight or the perfect weight, He thinks I’m beautiful.

It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do, He thinks I’m beautiful.

Inside and out.


And, my husband is right. My girls are listening. Do I want them to believe it when they’re daddy says they’re beautiful? And, do I want them to believe HIM when He says that they’re beautiful too.

I do.

And it’s so much bigger than just believing my husband when he says I look nice, it’s more about believing that he is speaking and acting on behalf of God. That He appointed this man to me as a representative of Him. After all Ephesians 5:23 says “the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church.” Why wouldn’t I believe that my husband takes this seriously and is acting as such?

God reveals himself to me in my husband in so many ways and if I’m not careful I will miss it...

When he encourages me, it’s God.

When he imparts wisdom to me, it’s God.

When he provides for me, it’s God.

When he protects me, it’s God.

When he leads me, it’s God.

When he loves me, it’s God.

And, when he says I’m beautiful, it’s God.

I believe it now. Not just for my girls. But for me too.

I can't tell you how freeing this Truth is, to not doubt my husband’s words or actions. It removes all the mental anguish that I place on myself. It allows me to just believe him, to smile and graciously say “thank you.”

What about you? Are you believing him because of HIM?



  1. This is so me. I do the exact same thing, well I did. We're working on it. God sees us as treasures to be cherished..I'm so glad He put husbands in our lives that will remind us of that truth! Thank you for this post!

  2. This is exactly what I needed to hear and to read. Thank you Heidi! I have spent much of the last year peeling away layers of insecurity and doubt..needing to trust both my husband and God a great bit more. I need to learn how to see me the way God does and the way Carlos does. I don't know why I have such a hard time. Thank you for the reminder!

  3. This is also me all the way down to the eye roll. Lol. And this is also the same thing my dear husband said to me. As you said, our husbands see us as Christ does...beautiful. We ARE beautiful becasue we are made in His image. Thank you for this reminder.

  4. Why do we always ask that "fat" question when we will never be happy with the response? They could say you look great or no, your a fat cow and neither one will really do... YOU my sweet and precious friend are beautiful both inside and out... Remember God looks at the heart and outward beauty is fleeting!! If only we could remeber this when we gaze down at our scales! Love ya

  5. This post was so good! I really needed to hear this. I'm beautiful because God says I am. That's good enough for me. I want to cling to that truth. Thanks for sharing this message.

  6. I like your husband already Heidi! During our marriage, my wife Shannon has been all over the board.. From 320lbs to 180lbs, blonde hair, to red, to brown, etc... And you know what? I've loved her and thought she was absolutely beautiful every step of the way. Like our loving spouses (and obviously even more so), God looks for beauty from the inside. And from all I've seen so far from your writing, like my Shannon, you're also beautiful! Have a Blessed Day!

  7. I still struggle with this sometimes... I want to believe him because of Him. Thanks for the reminder.

    joy & blessings,
    Alida from Blackpurl's Knitpickings

  8. Oh, I absolutely LOVE this post! I'm with you - I know what I see in that mirror, but like you said, "he is speaking and acting on behalf of God." It's all part of accepting the love of the one God blessed us with.
    Thank you for this great post :)
    I hope you had a great Christmas!

  9. This is great. I struggle with the exact same thing. I tend to tell my husband, "I believe that YOU believe it...but *I* don't think I'm beautiful." It's something I have to work on constantly. Thank you for this post.

  10. I constantly struggle with this. I don't know why I always at this question and I know what he is going to say. Thank you for the reminder. Why else would GOD give us our husbands.