As I get older I stop consulting daisies and begin testing the source. Questioning. Measuring. Assessing. I need undeniable proof that I am loved. Situations naturally play themselves out in my relationships revealing questions and tell all answers.
If I cry and run off will he chase after me (he loves me) or will he just let me go? (he loves me not)
If I call for help will he charge in on his white horse and rescue me (he loves me) or will I be ignored? (he loves me not)
If I am hurt will he embrace and comfort me (he loves me) or will he not care at all? (he loves me not)
If I am judged and condemned will he stand valiantly up for me (he loves me) or will he reject me? (he loves me not)
The unfortunate time and energy spent on such desperate efforts is just woefully sad to me now. Not because I tried so hard and failed so mercilessly, but because I had not a single notion of what real love even looked like.
Yet, now from where I sit comfortably grounded in Christ I see and experience genuine love at its very best. There is no need for destroying daisies or getting out the microscope to analyze relationships. It’s written plainly and beautifully in God’s word for me to seek out and claim as my own. I find my pursuer there; my hero; my comforter; and my redeemer. (He loves me)
And, though that is more than enough He has blessed me abundantly with a loving husband who readily reflects every one of those godly characteristics. God, in His great loving kindness appointed my husband to be my personal defender; my protector, my preserver; and my friend. (He loves me indeed)
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-21